Education of a Snake Hunter – Chapter Two

Pilot blacksnake

“Does overwhelming change, the annihilation of all you know, create an intensity of memory that would not have existed otherwise?” – Charles Frazier

Surely the Creelman’s, inhabitants of the old homestead on the plateau were thoroughly acquainted with the holy grail of his later teens and early twenties.  This being the great pilot blacksnake, alternatively black ratsnake, a shiny serpent of Pennsylvania-anthracite sheen, cable-strong constricting coils and handsome rectangular roman-nosed head with often virgin-white throat that could climb straight up the highest trees as though by magic and might reach eight feet in length.  The stuff of local serpent-legends.  One of those legends describing how this snake would lead other snakes to safety in times of peril, including rattlesnakes, hence the name pilot blacksnake, pilot snake, or rattlesnake pilot.  While this is not likely true, the snake absolutely has about it all the air of a leader amongst snakes, deliberate, dignified and seemingly wise.  No doubt rural folk noticed this, and then witnessed them at communal dens with other, apparently lesser species, and so the legend was formed. Whatever the case, the name has a fitting poetry to it. The current official fashion in Canada is to know this reptile by the common name, “gray ratsnake” in deference to its genetic associations. A nonsensical and unnecessary change. Not only are common names not meant to be subject to such strict scientific codes (they have Latin aliases for this purpose,) it is a fact that no person having witnessed one of these superb creatures ever came away saying, “You should have seen the long, shiny grey snake I saw!” People depict it invariably as a black snake, and so they shall remain, here.

Another trait attributed to this storied snake is its affinity for human dwellings, usually older barns, houses, and outbuildings.  This legend is fact.  Such buildings will serve as focal points of the snake’s territory (as do ancient trees with plenty of holes and hollows) to which they return again and again, and, being incredible climbers given the lack of legs, usually to ascend to some lofty perch to observe their domain, out from underfoot. 

Former densite haunts of the pilot blacksnake in Jon’s indigenous Lincoln County, Ontario. Only their ghosts haunt the place now. Their bones and fossils, legacy of the Age of Machines.

Creelman’s barn was one such focal point for these reptiles in the Vineland area.  The Creelmans had described how they had known this reptile that lurked in the rafters of the old structure on their farm near Cherry Avenue, looking down on the old Model “A”.  Certainly then these snakes were known by folks of the now-deceased Grandparent’s age, but they had lingered beyond that.  Contemporaries of our own parents, the parents of friends and peers remembered them as well.  Tom Shield’s mother had told of walking in the very ravine west of the old homestead’s hayfield and coming across “huge shiny blacksnakes”.  Ron Derksen’s father remembered them from beneath the trestle that spanned the Jordan Pond where he had stepped on one and it had coiled up and around his boot.  The Creelmans had not known them in the time since Squirrel-Eating Jon was born, 1964, yet still the question begged, were these reptiles only memories, phantoms, or were they still extant as relics here and there? Were there yet some surviving into our time in these places?  It was certainly a mystery worth exploring. 

Pilot blacksnake basking at the entrance to a hiding place in a tree. Such scenes would have been common across a wide swath of southernmost Ontario prior to the 1960’s.

In the years spanning our teens he did receive some tantalizing leads.  One morning, classmate Victor Romagnoli came to school, Beamsville District Secondary – the same one Eating’s mother had attended before him – reporting that along the old King’s Highway #8 very near the corner of Tufford Road where he lived with two brothers and two sisters on his parent’s farm, he spotted a big shiny blacksnake that had been hit by a car while waiting for the schoolbus. Jon checked the spot out later but the snake must have been taken by a predator, perhaps a Turkey vulture, or even picked up by some other inquisitive naturalist.  He could not find it, but Victor insisted it was very long and black and had white in the fore-belly.   This would have been around 1980.  Another lead he got was in a casual conversation around the same year with a man who, coming out of Kinsmen’s Park on the ridge above Beamsville had run over what he took to be a long black piece of conduit lying in the road, only to look in his rearview mirror to see it writhing, realizing to his surprise it had been a very large blacksnake.  Eating explored the park but found nothing.

Kinsmen Park, Beamsville. Another place haunted by ghosts of the serpent-past.

These events occurred close to home, places he could easily cycle to.  He also began to garner some leads from a little further afield, though not too far.  In a pickle jar full of formalin in his grade twelve biology lab were two big pilot blacksnakes, real beauts even in pickled death.  They were not procured from some distant supply house, but rather were “collected,” teacher John VanDerBeek assured us, from along the Welland Canal, not far out of St. Catharines.  And then there was a farmhand compatriot of Jon’s whom, around 1981 told me of fishing on a causeway at Lake Gibson, off Beaverdams Road and barely more than a stone’s throw from the canal and there was a snake – again hit by a car (and a pattern is emerging here hinting strongly at one primary agent of their general demise) – that was “long and shiny and black” and wasn’t one of the watersnakes he was familiar with in fishing there. 

It was around this same year, the early spring of 1982, that Squirrel-Eating really believed he was going to hit paydirt in his country where this legendary reptile was concerned.  He had a conversation at Red Bridge where it spanned the Twenty Creek between Vineland and Jordan that very much excited him.  It was earliest spring, the end of March.  Twenty Creek was a chocolate torrent.  It was the time of year to net for spawning pike.  The net was six feet by six feet on a frame that held it taught and bowed overarching over it.  It was the same net we used to dip for smelt before the alien salmon ate them all. There were three ways of using this net.  For smelt, they would go out onto Martin’s pier, and simply drop it over on a rope.  For pike, you could dip from shore with a long pole that you wedged under your ass and sat back to lift, or, similar to the method used for smelt, you could drop it down off a bridge.  The best places at Red Bridge were in the floodwater eddies that swirled up around the downstream side of the concrete abutments.  Jon has caught pike there that looked like great logs sagging as the mesh emerged from the debris laden murk. 

He was in conversation with one fisherman as he was packing up to leave, a gregarious middle aged man with dark hair and a beat-up ballcap.  They were talking of fishing in the area in general.  The man brought up one of his favorite spots for big catfish, and it was on a limestone-studded spit of semi-wooded land where the main channel of the Welland Canal splits off into a side-channel.  Access was down a road where the fellow farmhand had seen the dead blacksnake.  The man told of his fishing there but then added he no longer went there on account of his fear for snakes.  Asked to elaborate he told of being finally too spooked by the big blacksnakes that always seemed to arrive as he sat quietly on the bank waiting for some action to return there.  Asked if they were watersnakes, and he said no, much larger, and besides a fellow had killed one and taken it to the wildlife office in Fonthill where the warden exclaimed that it was a ‘black racer,’ a snake he had “not seen in the area for years.” (‘Black racer’ being the misnomer that seemed to be generally applied to the pilot blacksnake in the Niagara area.  Eating’s biology teacher had referred to the pickled snakes by this same name, which is the common name for another snake that does not occur in Canada.)  This business with the fisherman and the snakes had been within the past year.

Pilot blacksnake around spring emergence time seeking access to sunshine.

The day was cool down on the old bed of Lake Iroquois thanks to a breeze off Lake Ontario, but over the limestone escarpment it was much warmer.  It was emergence time for snakes. Squirrel-Eating Jon made it to the place described by the fisherman. There was no question he was in the right place. The scene could have served as a textbook picture of “pilot blacksnake habitat.”  Mind you, it was not a entirely natural situation.  Here we had one of those cases where mans’ activities had undoubtedly improved a very localized spot for the big reptiles.  Excavation of the famous shipping conduit was begun in 1824 and went through several modifications, not to be completed until 1932.  All of this occurred of course before World War II, before the extreme environmental degradation wrought by rapid urban expansion and chemical based agriculture, so the region was undoubtedly still liberally salted with snakes.  The area of the spit was one where the limestone bedrock was at or near the surface.  Millions of tons of this rock were deposited in low boulder piles and man-made eskers of the same in this spot between two channels.  Once the ruckus was done with, this undoubtedly created some incredible thermoregulatory conditions for a northern reptile.  The rock would have absorbed the sun and radiated it back, creating a local microclimate within the microclimate of Niagara, and because there was little topsoil near the end third of the spit, the regenerating growth was limited mostly to patches of dense hawthorn scrub and scattered poplars, offering plentiful and almost impenetrable cover at regular intervals while still maintaining plentiful openings to the let the sun through.  And yet there was still forest as well on this spit, a little to the north, as well as great field of giant reed that towered over your head like sugarcane, that must have been filled with rodent prey.  The whole being dotted with little wetlands and ponds.  In other words, there was an amazing diversity of habitat within a very limited compass.

This was the scene that greeted Jon as he first came down the spit.  He could almost taste the glistening black reptiles the situation seemed so ideal.  He was convinced that this had to be the place where the snakes in the jar in his biology class had come from.  He went to the area on the far side of the spit from the main canal where the man described his encounters having occurred.  The bank sloped fairly steeply here down to gently swirling waters, the slope being a mosaic of hawthorn scrub and fairly open smaller rock debris.  Everywhere you looked you expected to see one of the reptiles. 

He searched the spit liberally that day, the shorelines, the rockpiles, the scrub, but found no pilot blacksnake.  He did see gartersnakes, watersnakes, and uncovered a very nice milksnake under a piece of old carpet.  One gartersnake came drifting by him in the flow of the back channel, coils so benumbed by the cold spring water he could no longer swim.  He was close enough to the bank to be fished out and laid on the warm rocks.  Who knows how far he may have drifted nor whether he would have lived. 

Continuing reconnaissance of the area, he noted with some chagrin that while at first glance the place had seemed relatively quiet, it was in truth well frequented at least at intervals by homo.  There were many trails spider-webbing the place, mostly those made by off-road vehicles which at that time were primarly “dirt bikes.”  While it was certainly a superb place for the ratsnakes habitat-wise, this evidence of regular human incursion, and not gentle incursion at that, was not a good sign.  Furthermore, the total surface area of the place was not particularly large, certainly under a hundred acres in total, with the best habitat being less than that.  Given that the rest of the region had been highly modified – for agriculture, housing, and roads, any population occurring here was bound to be an isolated relict, another last-stand.  Had he finally arrived in time to witness some remaining individuals?

Jon remained convinced for a long span that he had arrived in time, that some of the big blacksnakes still haunted the place in earthly form.  And well they may have. But that does not change the fact that search as he might, over all suitable seasons from spring emergence to fall denning time, over a span of almost a decade, he failed to find a single one of the great snakes that had been so recently abundant as to put one avid fisherman off the spot for good.  It hardly seemed possible that he could have observed them like this so readily by accident, whereas Eating himself could not come up with a single one despite a thoroughness of searching driven by his heights of passion for the subject, but this is so often the way it works in the woods.  Was it possible that he had witnessed the last of them, that fishermen like the fellow who killed the one taken to the game warden had finished off the last individuals literally just before Eating arrived on the scene?  It is possible, and certainly in situations like this, each individual is significant.  But the fact is, in situations like this where populations are so close to extirpation, it can become very difficult to ascertain whether an animal still exists or not in habitat like this.  It is so easy for a tiny group of stragglers to evade detection – it’s the classic “needle in the haystack” scenario, as we will illustrate definitively with this same enigmatic snake species later in the tale.

Jon believes it is not impossible that a handful of the legendary black constrictors are still there on that spit to this day, nearly three decades later.  There along the quieter stretches of the canal and the rocky shores of adjacent Lake Gibson.  He would like to go back there again, in fact, with a canoe perhaps this time, and resume the search.  It is the sort of challenge he likes.

Lake Gibson habitat.

While the search of this particular spot undoubtedly represented the climax of his search for the reptilian grail of his homeland in terms of any likelihood of success, it was not the end of the leads to come where this species was concerned.  It seemed hardly a year went by during the 1980’s when some new compelling sighting didn’t emerge in the course of conversation with someone engaged in outdoor work or recreation.  A few years following Jon’s introduction to the spit on the Welland Canal an agriculturist served up another tale that could not be ignored.  During his work, he had for some reason found himself in an area adjacent Port Colborne and not too far from the Lake Erie shore.  He described a level area of vacant scrubland and of significant acreage, where the bedrock was at the surface, and dotted with rock piles.  He had been engaged in this dryland habitat when he ran, much to his amazement, across “an indigo snake.”  Now, the indigo is a subtropical snake that ranges no closer to Ontario than coastal Georgia.  It, like the pilot blacksnake, is one of the continent’s handful of largest snake species, and it too is black, with an indigo sheen.  There was only one snake in Ontario that might lend the impression of being one of these, and that snake was of course the pilot blacksnake.

Off he went again, but again, he found no Pilot blacksnake. On his way back to Vineland that trip, he took an access road to the south edge of the Wainfleet Bog, once legendary for rattlesnakes.  He approached a middle-aged farmer on the last farm before the bog proper.  He asked him about pilot blacksnakes.  Did he know them, or had he?  Yes he had, and he too called them “black racers.”  He was thoughtful a moment and related as to how it had been about a dozen years at that point since he had seen his last one.  That would have placed his last sighting at sometime during the mid-1970’s.  Asked about Massassaugas, he reflected that yes he had known them too, but had not seen one for about the same span of time.  He also added that he was not particularly sad about this particular loss.  A person can understand his point of view.  Working daily around big populations of cryptic little venomous snakes, engaged in work that involved hands at ground level regularly, must be something of a strain.  The man said he used to find them regularly bound to his haybales during haying time and even in the nest boxes of his hens.  On the other hand, a certain failure of perspective, of wonder, of the imagination must also be at play here to be grateful for the colour leaching from your world. At any rate, in talking with this fellow it first occurred the emerging picture of what had taken place with the reptiles in this general region. A situation in which a turning point occurred during the 1970’s, marked by some event, factor, or threshold of cumulative factors being reached, resulting in the significant rapid-onset declines so the hallmark of tipping points. It’s a very simple equation: past a certain point, more people = less of everything else. Few even notice when it’s the snakes disappearing, and fewer yet care. But when it’s jobs, food supplies, quality of democracy or even a climate conducive to civilization hitting a tipping point by the same mechanisms that much further in-play, we begin to understand why it’s important to heed the earlier warning signs. Evidence suggests we still don’t understand this. The situation with the pilot blacksnake is echoed in far flung corners of the continent. A parallel situation has occurred for instance with the kingsnakes of Florida, another top-of-the-pyramid serpent. Same process, same timelines. They were there, most everywhere, and now most everywhere, they’re not. (Refer to the excellent video featuring this snake and its diversity in the context of this process, below. We could find no similar film summary involving the pilot blacksnake of Ontario.) It’s not a process limited to the northern frontier then, but rather one common to any place where human densities have become problematic, and not just problematic for snakes. By the time you notice (or not) that the snake populations are suffering, conditions in the human sphere are in decline as well.

This handsome pilot blacksnake displays the high-contrast throat and the squared-off
edges of belly scutes that aid greatly in climbing trees.
This adult also retains obvious spotted hatchling/juvenile pattern as many do. Note also the bulge in the snake’s body…
Squirrel-Eating Jon is not the only vertebrate that likes to eat squirrels.

Squirrel-Eating Jon’s search for the great, storied blacksnake of the Niagara Peninsula, once so broadly known and liberally spread, marked the end of his real herpetological focus on the decaying region.  Although compelling, the disappointments he had endured chasing phantoms eventually pushed him farther afield.   He was driving by that point, after-all, not nearly so confined by space.  He began to focus his attentions on the last great reptile strongholds of Ontario, places that still remained like Vineland had undoubtedly once been, back in simpler, cleaner, quieter times.  


A Grizzly Fall

September 2020. Big grizzly moving its slow thighs approaching the farmstead from the east, a gaze blank and pitiless as the sun. Rough beast at outer gyre.



Grizzly track, front foot, in the farm lane.

We had been aware that grizzlies visited our place on occasion most years. Until this past fall, we had not been aware just how much bear activity there actually was in our localized area.

This past October we had an early cold snap with an almost nightly dusting of new snow. It wasn’t real winter yet, but what it was was a tracker’s paradise. Squirrel-Eating Jon decided to make a bit of a concerted study of the bear activity in the area. He focused on the two quiet roads bordering the farm, east and west. This as well as maintaining a few trail cameras, one in the farm laneway.

Trail Camera. Young grizzly in the farm lane. Covered in beggarlice burs.

Incredibly, new trails occurred on these two flanking roads nightly, examination suggesting several individual bears at least, including a female with two cubs. An interesting thing being that despite all this activity, the farmer Eating and his woman A.D. had yet to see an actual grizzly in the area in ten years. This in a place where it would be difficult to imagine more grizzly bear activity this side of a coastal spawning-time salmon-stream.

Trail Camera. Dark grizzly in the willow swamp wetland below the house. Younger one, judging by proportions. It is now known they bed down there with a system of trails more like tunnels though the growth in some stretches.
Trail Camera. This hazy shot is the only one captured of a grizzly by the game cams this fall under light conditions, first thing in the morning. The bear is in the dense wetland growth below the farmhouse and bedding for the day, out of sight. Same location as the preceding picture. Different bear.

The bears avoid conflict with Homo in the area – which they do to a markedly successful degree – by being almost strictly nocturnal and avoiding livestock predation. This is the same strategy used by their counterparts in more southerly European countries. Is genetic pressure producing a new, quieter, more retiring and less volatile grizzly bear on this continent?

Hind track of a large grizzly that Jon and A.D. backtracked in the bush on the east side of the hayfield days before they realized just how many bears were active in the immediate area. The chance of surprising one on its daybed – not recommended – was very real. Jon’s boot is 13″.

With the bears negotiating the network of barbed wire fences in this agricultural mosaic, the opportunity for collecting the hair samples they left behind on the barbs was excellent. Squirrel-Eating Jon began carrying a box of envelopes and a marker with him in order to do so. The marker was in order to label the envelopes according to date and location, as well as direction being travelled by the bear, with notes on whether it was known if the hair had been deposited that 24 hour period. In many cases it had been, this being known as all hair at crossing points was removed when found. Not infrequently there was more hair and tracks the very next morning.

Tuft of hair from the large grizzly whose tracks are featured in this post on a strand 200 metres from the farmhouse. This sample is full of dirt. The bear may have been digging a den locally.

24 samples were collected in a two-week period. Most excitingly, the primary Alberta grizzly study team has agreed to run the DNA on these samples. We will know how many bears they represent, their sex, relation to one another and other bears already in the database, and perhaps other interesting things. In the spring if the tracking conditions are conducive, we intend to backtrack some bears and find out if they are denning locally. We suspect some, though certainly not all of them, are.

Trail Camera. Here comes mom. This is a very well-used grizzly trail in the neighborhood, visible (barely) from Google Earth.
Trail Camera. Mom’s cubs on same trail as above. They used this trail almost nightly until a few days later when it became warm again and the snow all melted. Just before the snow was gone, tracking revealed they had left the neighborhood, heading west towards the mountains.

Groundhog Day

Groundhogs (Woodchucks.) Louis Agassiz Fuertes art. A typical example and a rare black, melanistic one such as the author once witnessed in Alberta



The marmot family branch of sciuridae to which the groundhog, or woodchuck belongs, is composed of some seriously satisfying squirrels. Here in Alberta we find three of the five or six North American types: the groundhog, the yellow-bellied marmot or “rockchuck”, and the hoary marmot. Arranged here in order according not only to body-size, but to their attraction to rock. Small-to-no rock, medium rock, large rock.

Jon’s first Yellow-bellied marmot or rockchuck. This was at Lethbridge, Alberta in the early 90’s. These are intermediate in terms of size, appearance, and the extent of the rock they tend to prefer to haunt between the groundhog and the hoary marmot. A “gateway marmot.”


The groundhog was that marmot of the eastern woods and meadows of our childhood and youth. We were always somewhat in awe of these “land beavers” as we used to call them, the smallest of the marmots but by no means small. They occupied a sacred spot in our imaginings. We attempted to make pets of them and occasionally hunted them, but only for the purposes of procuring their meat for trapline bait, and never in any numbers. They were always a welcome sight, sitting upright outside their burrows well out in the midst of hayfields, looking the size of bear-cubs. A welcome sight if that wasn’t your hayfield, that is.

We always pictured the western theatre to be the sole territory of the two larger marmots. The yellow-bellied in arid areas of rimrock, the hoary way up high in the alpine. This is indeed pretty much the case. Imagine our surprise to find that the groundhog of the eastern hardwoods was to be found out here, too, through the central wooded belt and down a little through the more woodsy sections of the foothills. They are supremely mysterious here, compared to the east. Never have we seen them standing there for all to see in hayfields. They are cryptic and retiring enough here such that we have seen only four of them in our 29 years in the west. One in a ravine in Edmonton, one along a railway line outside Grande Prairie, a rare black one basking on the highway shoulder near Rocky Mountain House, and this one, below.



This one surprised us most. It was found as an unfortunate road-kill not far from where we pasture our herd of yak. Nothing had prepared us for these critters being down this far south in the foothills landscape, and we were almost as excited as had we seen a grizzly. Certainly there are woods enough for any woodchuck here, but we did not envisage them any further south than Caroline town, where it’s just that little bit lower and moister. This particular encounter being all the more bittersweet in that this was a nursing female of the species. We can only hope her youngsters were old enough to forage on their own. We searched for the denholes in the adjacent ditches and woods with the idea of collecting and raising any orphans, but to no avail. We have kept a lookout for another one since, but have not been rewarded with a sighting.

“Mountainchuck.” The hoary marmot, or whistler. Louis Agassiz Fuertes art. Only the biggest of rocks will do for this huge and ornate alpine marmot.


It’s difficult to wrap your head around the premise of Groundhog Day in Canada. The groundhog never lived that emerged on February 2nd in this country. If the tradition of this day of folklore originated on this continent, it must have done so in a much more southerly clime. Suitable habitat in Georgia or Alabama, perhaps. Southern Appalachia or the piedmont of. They might just be up this early there.

A more likely explanation is that like the people of those concerned with this blog, the legend of Groundhog Day is a naturalized British transplant. It is said that a similar legend surrounds another burrow-dwelling species there, the badger. Early kinfolk not encountering any badgers in their new eastern North American haunts, supplanting the badger’s rodent analogue into the narrative. The United Kingdom – England, Scotland, Northern Ireland – having no months in which the average temperature is below freezing would see the badgers emerging from their slumbers early.

The October groundhog country of Squirrel-Eating Jon’s domain, edging towards their hibernation time. The kingdom of the hoary marmot peeking over the horizon.

Eating Squirrels Part Two

Fast forward to the high plains of Alberta. A brief account of the legendary archetypal predecessor to generations of later squirrel-eaters erupting on the scene before subsiding into legend being the preamble here. John “Gopher John” Fersden who roamed the huge spaces surrounding the town of Gleichen, once hub of that section of the plains.

Gleichen, Alberta at the time of Gopher John.

Gopher John was a small German lunatic. As he grew evermore unbalanced, he roamed the streets of town with rags of old Mounted Police uniforms tied about his legs discharging his shotgun at children playing in haystacks. He believed these rags were all that stood between himself and an even worse worm infestation than the one he already had. Same as wrapping the trunks of elm trees to guard against Dutch Elm disease beetles, the aim being to catch the elm beetle larvae after they have hatched and crawled around for a while eating and growing, the exact timing depending on the weather, with the need to monitor the tree closely to pick the best timing. In John’s case he was sure the large welt embossed on his pate-top with a spike wielded by a fellow gold panner who bludgeoned him in British Columbia in order to steal his stash was a large worm in need of being regularly subdued by thrusting the affected area against a purpose-built paddle with a grinding motion. Regardless of effect, this remains one of the lesser known British Columbia bludgeonings. John had a similar worm in his ear lobe that was fifty feet long and yet another in his leg, twenty-five feet long. Squirrel-Eating’s old neighbor’s father John Martin once examined Gopher for these worms when the infested loon became lost on a 1904 coyote hunt and ended up on the latter’s homestead on Rosebud Creek. All John Martin could find was a ropey muscle. The rags were doing their job.

Elm beetle control.

This is all beside the point. The point is, what is most commonly called a “gopher” out on the plains is actually a squirrel. A ground squirrel, a squirrel that lives in the ground rather than in the trees. This makes perfect sense in a place where there are no trees to live in anyways, but no end of ground. (The wind-addled denizens of these stupefying wastes further muddying the waters by calling the actual gophers that abound out there, “moles.” What a disaster the White Man has made of things.) There were thousands of the rodents living on the outskirts of Gleichen where Gopher John also lived in a sod-hut, dug three feet into the ground and with three feet above-level. This lawless horde of vermin would drift into town and defile kitchen gardens. The town hired John, strategically located as he was, as First Line of Defense, paying him a cent per tail for killing the violators. He lived on the meat of these squirrels, and became an influential early squirrel-eating legend by this life-altering stroke of fortune. (It is rumored, but not verified, that he was sent to Medicine Hat to die, twice. As good a place to die as any, we suppose, however many times you intend to do it.)

Moving forward in history, it was the influence of this man’s legend lodged tenaciously on a fore-shelf of Squirrel-Eating Jon’s brainrack during a similar squirrel infestation as experienced in Gleichen only in this case on his and A.D’s plains patch that convinced Eating that with the prodigious numbers of ground squirrels he was killing out of necessity that one summer it was time to resume his squirrel-eating ways.

A woman and her supper.

The sinewy pair in the company of unnumbered French who had wandered onto the place and were helping out set up a grill over a fire alongside the lane. Jon with the aid of these emotional Europeans prepared a large heap of squirrels for supper. The neighbor woman drove in as they were eating as we recall. Oh, you are having a nice barbeque, what is that you’re grilling? ‘Gophers’ Jon said, with no respect for the correct nomenclature in honor of the memory of you-now-know-who. Hahaha the neighbor woman brayed like an ass right up until the moment the one Frenchman, (a Professional Clown back home you are probably thinking now – excellent guess, you are right!) raised one of the crispy golden rodents to his primitive face entire and exacted with his peg-like teeth a complete haunch. Masticated – gone. Where’s my baguette, cochon de lait? Saying this.

Suffice to report it was the events of this evening that launched Squirrel-Eating Jon right back onto the path of squirrel-eating with renewed vigor. From that day on, aside from the other stuff he eats, Squirrel-Eating’s diet has been 100% the flesh of squirrels. The effects of which are on display in the contents of this blog.

Deer Season 2020. The Big Woods Bucks that Got Away

Some of the big Dakotaensis bucks out here are fully 200 times the size of a squirrel.

Whitetail season in his part of Alberta lasts but a month. The ungulates are doing very well here as in many places, but this is about as much hunting pressure as they can take regardless relative to the bloated human population, with its proportional subset of hunters.

Some nimrods and back-to-the-landers have this fantasy of living off game out here “when the shit hits the fan.” Many such folks imagine themselves fleeing the cities for the hills at just the right moment. This is a misguided expectation for many reasons, but here for starters are two obvious ones:

1. The shit hitting the fan, that is, the fall following the decline, or more simply, “collapse”, is a process, not an event. But because such folks – most folks probably – view collapse as an event, by the time the actual process bears enough bad fruit to create the necessary sense of urgency to act they will have missed the window to do so, to reorganize life conducive to living in this imagined fashion. We know they don’t know what stage of the game we’re at not the least for the very fact that they still frame things in terms of “when the shit hits the fan,” indicating they are not aware that the “shit” is at this very moment quite decisively hitting the fan, and has been for some time now. That we are now deeply into the process. The reality being that if you haven’t begun making preparations by now – such as relocating in many cases – it’s almost certainly too late for this option at least;

2.) It wouldn’t matter anyways if you did relocate hoping to live off the land in part as a hunter. The game will be gone in a matter of months, there are far too many people even in this neck of the woods for the game populations today. This is why our hunting season even for the hyper-abundant white-tailed deer is now down to only 1/12th of the year. Five million or so free-ranging bison would go a long way towards helping this situation. But that ain’t gonna happen either. Aside from the fact that there was next to no room left for the beasts by 1888, more recently just a handful of them being released into nearby Banff Park – a National Park no less – had some of the countryfolk in these parts all in a tizzy over things going to hell in a handbasket. “What’s with thems releasing thems there buffler in that there park? Thems ain’t COWS!”

Trail Camera shot. A big Dakotaensis whitetail buck that got away works a “scrape” on Squirrel-Eating Jon’s hunting territory during an unseasonably cold pre-season squall.


Squirrel-Eating Jon hunted hard this season, most days of the month, as did many with an unusual amount of time on their hands this year. He focused on killing a big woods buck, a “trophy” if you will. Stalking it and/or tracking it down in the woods, with intervals set aside to instruct a young former colleague in the art of still-hunting. Many are down on trophy hunting not realizing that going after the older, smarter animals is a much more difficult game than going after younger animals, greatly reducing the odds you will kill anything at all. Also, they may well be perfectly okay with “meat-hunting” not grasping that shooting a trophy animal doesn’t preclude eating it, certainly the intention here. Trophy hunting in this case is meat-hunting. It’s just that much harder to get your meat. Mind-you, some of the big Dakotaensis whitetail of the region are fully 200 times the size of a squirrel, if not as tasty. This is why in areas of tag limits where rural families were hunting for meat, they focused on the bigger bucks. It wasn’t for the antlers, it was for the volume of meat-per-kill when the number of kills you could make was limited by law. Literally “more bang per buck.” (The term “buck” for a dollar, by the way, finding its root in the days of Daniel Boone when a deerskin was a standard article of currency.) All this said, Eating also carried a “supplemental” doe tag for later in the season to stretch out the meat supply should the opportunity present. Ethical, ecological hunting requires shooting some does and even fawns, some biologists argue.

Trail Camera shot. This one got away.


He passed up quite a number of does and younger male deer, including a young forkhorn buck one day that came to within 25 feet of where he stood and stopped there right in front of him, looking everywhere but at himself, standing there motionless in full view. If you want to disappear to a deer, stay still. Not the “still” of average folk, mind-you, which still includes shifting a bit foot to foot, scratching a nostril, the gentle periodic clearing of the throat, provided you are not walking while you do this, but rather still, like a garden gnome is still. This young buck hit the jackpot that day in terms of whom it chose to stop right in front of. He will live to get smarter, hopefully.

Trail Camera shot. This one, seen here thrashing the shrubbery close to Squirrel-Eating’s house, got away too.

Early in the season, Jon prefers to carry a .375 Holland & Holland bolt rifle as it is considered one of a handful of the best “stopping guns” in the event of a grizzly charge – and there are a lot of grizzlies in his area. The .375 is a heavy pig of a gun, fully ten pounds loaded, though one does get used to it and it handles very well, and is a tack-driver in terms of accuracy. He handloads it with 250 grain copper bullets. It is a profoundly confidence-inducing arm to have with you, as while it is easy to be under-gunned, there is much less such a thing as being over-gunned. He is thinking of selling it however because he wonders in the event of a grizzly charge if he would actually opt to use it anyway, assuming he had the chance, being sickened just by the idea of killing one of the great bears. More likely he’d resort to his mace or taking his chances playing dead. In the latter case, if the bear does kill you, at least you’ve rehearsed for it. Later into the season when the chance of encountering a bear wanes significantly, he tends to shift to carrying a typical woods rifle, which on the heels of the .375 feels like a piece of balsawood.

View of some of the big woods he hunts at the end of the main road, a leisurely fifteen minute drive from the farm.
Squirrel-Eating captured here still-hunting by his own trail camera, .375 H&H in a shoulder-carry.

So it was one day that Eating, hunting this time with J.C. – his partner in the livestock operation – decided to carry his Savage Model 99 EG in .300 Savage. One with original open iron sights. This is a 1950 vintage rifle that he bought in rough shape cheap and refinished into something pretty. He’d taken deer with it but it tended to shoot a bit high even with the rear iron backed right down. Just carrying it makes you feel like someone from a Philip Goodwin painting. Anyways, this day during a pause in his progress a large doe presented herself coming downslope about 100 yards in front of him. He decided that as it was late in the season, he would fill his doe tag. He fired at the doe and missed. She turned, wondering at the ruckus, and he missed her twice more. An appalling performance, assuming you were not the deer. It was not a shot he would have missed with his other Model 99, an R model with a vintage peep sight that he rarely missed anything with. The doe bounded off leisurely now, and he made a note to himself to finally pull his thumb out and order a peep sight for this EG before hunting with it again.

Squirrel-Eating Jon’s circa 1950 Savage 99 EG. It’s gonna get a peep sight installed before he hunts with it again.


Eating never got his big buck this year. He passed up one shot at a very nice one he’d been tracking for hours before jumping it out of a willow thicket. It turned into his grunt-call and paused in his sights at about a hundred, but because it stood skylined at a height of land over which there was a homestead in the basin and who knew where the bullet would go if he missed, he opted not to shoot. That was his big chance, as it turned out. That’s okay. He had a fabulous hunt of it all and his freezer is full of hog and yak regardless of his failure at venison this year. His trail cameras revealed that the individuals he was after, their photos included here, had all made it through the season intact. All of the ones in these photos made it through, in fact, and it wasn’t for lack of those after them. Giving the unwarshed some idea of the difficulty entailed in trophy-hunting. Barring their demise to the elements or to non-human predators in the interim – or his demise for that matter – he will pit wits with them again next November.

Trail Camera shot. This one also got away. Unusual high rack of antlers. Imagine it in a year or two.

Addendum: Here is an excellent short featuring master guide Hal Blood on what hunting big whitetail in big woods is all about.

The Throwback’s Bikes

An incarnation of Squirrel-Eating’s faux-Indian sitting at a favorite snake-hunting pitstop out on the Alberta high plains. Looking off towards Medicine Hat. The electrical box at roadside by the way indicates there was once a homestead here, and oh what a spot for a homestead! Or not, it is abandoned.

Motorcycles and trains are the best things about the machine age, although at the same time we were doing very well for millennia without them, thanks. You may not think so, but that’s because you are lazy.

All the best motorcycle designs had been done before 1960. Not the engines, the engines continued to improve technologically if declining in tinker-ability, but rather for the aesthetics of this machine which, let’s face it, has always been the poor-man’s consolation prize in the event that we can no longer make a horse fit with our day-to-day. Which most of us can’t. There is nothing the machine age accomplished so well, after-all, (aside from ruining the atmosphere, but phooey, what’s a little bad-air between apes?) as making sure the distances between everything we need to do never cease getting bigger.

Here is an early machine of Eating’s:

An early machine of Eating’s.

This was a custom Harley-Davidson harkening back stylistically to the old 1945 machine with the “knucklehead” engine. Only this one had a more modern “blockhead” engine which many bikers consider the last of the “true Harley engines” in that it was the last one that broke down beside the road as trust us, you will be riding one of these, you can take the thing apart with a minimal tool kit and repair it with parts you knap on the spot from chert. Jon put over a hundred thousand kilometres on this machine and had the engine rebuilt at one point when you could mark his progress by the plume of black smoke. It had a high-performance cam in the engine and at 1340 cc’s and epic weight it was a spectacular machine for the open highway when integral things weren’t flying off it. (Like for instance the big rear belt-drive wheel once did at Camrose. A grain farmer giving him some bolts to put it back on.) The engine was bolted solid to the frame and it vibrated like a nervous wienerdog until you got into third gear, at which point it smoothed out beautifully after loosening all key attachments. When he and A.D. began farming, he sold it cos he was never going anywhere anymore when he didn’t have to pick up some large sac of something.

Eventually he missed having a bike to run errands on. He explored all the options for horse travel, but in the end it’s just too damn dangerous being on or along the roads so equipped now, for ever-increasing reasons. A world hardly fit for man nor horse. So this one was procured:

This one was procured.

Eating got it painted and put the solo-saddle on (it didn’t look this slippery at purchase.) It looks like a vintage Indian machine of course, but is actually a Japanese knock-off, a Kawasaki. Indian proper built their last bike in 1953, and the marque has since been re-acquired several times. Some nice (and very expensive) machines have been produced in recent decades bearing the “Indian” tag, but ironically none came as close to capturing the spirit of the original machine as the only knock-off that didn’t bear the tag, the Kawasaki seen here, 1/5th the cost used of some of the latest official knock-off models new. A flawlessly reliable and performing machine, by the way. EXCEPT… at 805 cc’s it didn’t have quite the top end speed he needed for the open highways he occasionally needed to travel. Not that Squirrel-Eating very often feels the need to rush, one disease he doesn’t have, but rather that precisely because everyone else is convinced they do need to rush, if you are not up to excess speed yourself on the open roads, travelling becomes a serious menace.

So after a few years of avoiding the open highways and sort-of missing the big Harley, he traded his faux-Indian in for this one:

He traded his faux-Indian in for this one.

This is a new Triumph machine, a “bobber” as they call it. It looks old because Triumph, a fine English bike, incorporated the styling cues of their classic 50’s machines. The engine is a “high-torque” version of their 1200 cc powerplant. It makes almost the same power as the much larger engines found in the 200+ pound heavier Polaris ‘Indian’ and Harley roadwhale machines of today, but at 200+ pounds lighter and six gears to ply… well you can imagine. Let’s just say that in any gear you twist the throttle hard in, you better be leaning into the surge. It leaves the poor frantic masses speeding inexplicably towards something they will probably hate in its dust. Which of course is the intention. The handling at 140 being every bit as smooth and responsive as it is at 80, that is, nothing short of superb. Triumph really hit the ball out of the park with this one, and it is as close to being a flawless machine as Jon has experienced. Nonetheless, he tried to sell it last spring. It just seemed a ridiculous luxury for such a time of general declining fortunes. With Alberta not exactly enjoying her status as New Venezuela however, no one bit. He still has it, and he is not suffering for it. Yet.

So these are the consolation prizes of the machine age, and nothing to sniff at. He still prefers his horses, nevertheless. And if State Mandate ruled tomorrow that all motorized machines were outlawed, he’d whoop with joy, harness-up a team and never look back.

A Very Dark Night

This was in early October. Coming back from the farm market in Calgary town after 7 pm it was already getting dark and by the time of arrival back at the farm full dark. And on this particular night, dark as it ever gets, night of the Dark Moon. This was in the years before dedicated guardian dogs were on the prowl. Just the ragtag assemblage of dilettante canines they had brought with them. Some deterrent for predators, but not enough for this place, nest-of-all-potential-varmints.

A.D. and Jon had some mixed pullets they had hatched out under a red heat lamp in the one old slab-sided workshed that now housed their grain-roller. First thing Squirrel-Eating noticed as he pulled up the lane was the door of the shed ajar. Getting out of the Old Stinky Ford he approached the building and could see now through the opening the bodies of pullets lying about dead under the lamp. There was a small furtive movement but no discernable form. “Marten” being the assumption. Some mustelid at least, with the marten being most obvious for this location.

He entered the building. All the pullets lay dead and a few were partially eaten. He could discern no guilty party by the red glow but he did note that there was no exit from the place other than by the door and so whatever was responsible was still in there with him. Doing the math he moved to the back of the shed where an old freezer sat just forward of the rear wall leaving a potential retreat in-behind. He went around the side of appliance and peered behind. All was black at first, nothing could be seen. But there arose a deep and throaty growl. Doesn’t sound like a marten, he thought as his eyes adjusted enough to just barely make out a round face and a set of large eyes staring back at him. Laid-back ears, prominent fangs. Mountain lion.

When the peculiar pair had returned home at mid-afternoon the week before from a trip to town, their oldest yak, Rachel, was staring off over the wire to the open patch of woods bordering the wetland to the south and her calf was nowhere in evidence. The couple did a recon of the area but couldn’t find the offspring. They opened the wire to let Rachel herself go look. But she didn’t go nor even call. The calf never came back and predation was reckoned, a very rare thing when raising yak, as the adults are not only formidable, the calves themselves are fast as little whippets. But this calf of Rachel’s come to think of it had seemed a bit stunned at birth, slow of movement for a yak. Oh well, sometimes that happens, too.

Eating backed away from the snarling little lion and exited the shed leaving the door wide. The initial impression being that if he did this the cat, alarmed by the encounter with the putty-ape would leave and not come back. On his way to the farmhouse, however, he remembered the missing calf the week before. He remembered as well how the dogs had been slightly on edge for the interval leading up to the calf’s disappearance and until the present as well, as though something half-imagined were lurking. The interval from then to this being about what you’d expect a plump calf lasting a svelte cat as a repast. The pieces lining up. He now imagined the feline, having stumbled upon this bounty and with the reward of the pullets now, dining its way through the rest of the farmyard, including the dogs, and possibly posing an eventual danger to the people. Squirrel-Eating himself having come mighty close experts reckoned on one occasion to becoming Alberta’s first cougar statistic in an encounter involving being stalked by a very large tom out near Dead Man’s Flats. Reluctantly he acknowledged that he was going to have to fetch a rifle.

He was sad to dispatch the cat. It was a youngish female as it turned out, and in notably low condition. Mountain lions are one of the few critters that may have a litter at any time of the year. Alberta has lion-hunting seasons, one in which you are only allowed to track the beasts on foot, and another following deer season when you can hunt them with hounds you carry about in the bed of your pickup in specially designed crates. The compartments of which have holes cut such that the mutts can stick their flop-eared heads out of to catch some sniff. Hunters are encouraged to kill only the large toms, but this is not always the reality. If a female is killed before her young are entirely competent, situations like the one described here can arise. Which is not to insist that this is what happened. One theory, rather. The truth is, some of them even with the best of upbringings do poorly. Like those select cousins of yours that have you loathing Christmas. Same thing.

Soon people began showing up at the farm to view the corpse. No clear idea how they got wind of it. This is the way it can be in the country, people just know. And it is a good thing, cos these are the same ones who come when you are in trouble or some scum is stealing your crap. Even the University of Calgary got in touch, can we have the carcass? Fair enough question. It was weighed however that if it were our carcass, we would like to lie where we had lived, and so the sad skinny body was taken out into a nice wooded corner of the property and lain with reverence atop a cairn of stones, to fade back into her surroundings as she had been so expert at doing in life.

Ezra Tucker art. Magpie Summer.

Education of a Snake Hunter – Chapter One

Eastern garter snake. Frontenac County, Ontario.

There are three things which are too wonderful for me, four which I do not understand: The way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a serpent on a rock, the way of a ship in the middle of the sea, and the way of a man with a maid… – Proverbs 30:18-19

There was once an Indian trail that ran where the shores of ancient Lake Iroquois lapped at the base of what is now known as the Niagara Escarpment.  The trail was worn by the passages of some six thousand warriors of the Attiwandaronk Iroquois, or “Neutrals,” the largest indigenous society of the eastern woodlands by the early 1600’s. That was until their final slaughter to extinction by other nations of the Iroquois themselves, or as the Canadian Encyclopedia calls it, their “dispersal.”

The old Attawandironk trail, now King’s Highway #8, in 1918

These peoples who did their best not to be embroiled in the hostilities between Haudenosaunee and Wendat (Iroquois and Huron) shared this land with a bounty of elk, black bear; deer, wolves, foxes, martens and wild cats; grey squirrels and wild turkeys in an extensive and diverse Carolinian woods replete with nut trees, berry bushes, and vines of wild grape.  They planted tobacco, sunflowers and corn in the richest land of what was later to be known by a very different people as “Canada” and left clues they had been there about key sites like on the Jordan Estuary or the one uncle’s farm in the form of arrowheads and other rarer tools. With the Attiwandaronk gone, the trail became a path for horse and carriage carrying United Empire Loyalists, and much later their descendants paved the path with asphalt and called it King’s Highway #8 and for decades it was the major artery bearing vehicle traffic to and from the cities of Hamilton and St. Catharines, Ontario.  It even had its own electric train line for awhile.

The King’s Highway 8 at Grimsby in 1926 with the electric train and a guy hoping to be killed, maybe the King.

With one lane in each direction, this was hardly a highway by today’s standards.  It was just a road; a lovely, winding, soothing country road, as even highways once were in the days before the interstate.  North of the road, vineyards and peach orchards nurtured by the best soils in Canada extended to the cobbled shores of cold Lake Ontario.  South of the road, the land rose abruptly to the first plateau of the hundred meter high Niagara Escarpment.  The road was overhung with trees that densely cloaked the hillside. The woods by now was mostly in tatters, a piecemeal remnant of what had been the most biodiverse forest in Canada, thanks to a microclimate more like Virginia’s than the bulk of our own.  Best during the flush of spring and the long leisurely fall, mushy and grey in winter, hot and steamy during the generous summer.

At intervals, mysterious gullies ran down under the road with little cobble-bedded streams in their bottoms, all that remained of the torrents that had carved them. These streams resembled little more than drainage ditches as they continued on to cut through the level fruitlands bordering the big lake, but they still hosted the spawning runs of fish, plentiful muskrat that were until recent generations trapped for their furs by farmboys looking to raise a little extra college money, and families of glistening striped skunks up and down their banks.  Intriguing where the bluffs met the flats were the occasional farm laneways with their cryptic entrances that ascended curving to the broad bench below the limestone hills and cliffs.  It was rarely possible to see where any of these lanes lead from the road other than up, and because you couldn’t tell, and because they went up into that lush canopy, and because they had about them the aura of considerable history, they were tantalizing.

A King’s Highway 8 crossing on a typical mushy late winter day around 2000. The hills of Squirrel-Eating’s ol’ squirrel woods still looking intact in the background. The foreground here was once a splendid densite for whopper northern water snakes, but they were down to scarce and relatively puny remnants by the mid 1980’s. Before the end of the 1970’s this was also prime haunts of the great pilot blacksnake, one of the largest species on the continent. Cameron Bevers photo.

Somewhere between the towns of Beamsville and Vineland and closer to Vineland, one of these ascending laneways lead to the farmhouse of the boy’s Uncle Don and Aunt Celesta Creelman.   Their house was a great old square clapboard structure with two stories and a big screened-in porch hanging out over the slope, supported by wooden buttresses and shaded by ash, various oaks and maples, butternut, elms, and walnut with some white pines thrown into the mix to give the crows somewhere preferable to nest in the spring.  There was an old-fashioned stone well on the west lawn and off down the lane (you passed it on your way in), a vintage barn covered in creeper vines and with a very old car in it, maybe a Model A.  Although the house was perched on the lip of the slope, it was so enveloped by the forest that it was invisible from the road below when the leaves were on.  It was here that the boy spent many happy Christmases of childhood, until a rash of deaths in the mid-eighties claimed most of the older, and even some of the middle-aged, participants.

The plateau here was not particularly broad, less than a kilometer.  Uncle Don’s vineyard extended to the foot of the escarpment proper, the ridge of forested limestone that ran unbroken for 725 kilometers from New York State to the tip of the Bruce Peninsula, and onward through the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and even into Illinois.  Around those parts they called it “the mountain”, but there are mere bluffs overlooking coulees on the High Plains of “flat” Saskatchewan that would dwarf it.  They were, however, not judging the place though western eyes, and when standing at the foot of the ridge and peering up into the gloom of the woods for the first time as a small child, it certainly seemed a mountain, forbidding and dangerous, and therefore unshakably alluring.

As it turned out, the boy didn’t need to climb the mountain to have an experience that would prove seminal.  He barely had to step outside the door.  It must have been sometime in the middle-late sixties, the experience being one of his very earliest memories.  He had been examining the stone well, and having been gone too long – maybe ten minutes – was on his way back to the house, and there it was, his first snake.

E.B.S. Logier art. This depiction of the classic Eastern garter snake just as Jon’s first snake looked is a premier example of Logier of the Royal Ontario Museum’s mastery at depicting snakes, a very difficult creature to paint with the meticulous scales that must be painted just right.
The only shame being he didn’t paint more.

The boy was transfixed with wonder.  He followed behind the little snake – and little it must have been to be remembered as such through a child’s eyes – and it disappeared through the dark-green trelliswork at the base of the house.  There was no fear, no thought of danger, just the certainty that he had experienced magic and wanted very much to experience it again.

He ran inside and announced what I had seen.  Uncle Don assured him there were plenty of snakes around the house.  The boy’s dad, Don Draper – and bless him for he was a city man absorbed by a career as Creative Director and Vice President of the country’s largest ad firm and therefore a peripheral parent – took the boy back outside and there he was on his first snake-hunt. 

Very soon father and son found another, a reptile preserved in my memory in full, vivid technicolour.  This snake was in a bush above the pitted concrete apron of the side door, the one opening to the cellar where it was later learned the snakes hid and even hibernated. It was an eastern garter snake.  It was hefty and vivid black and yellow, and the boy tried to catch it but it immediately vanished into the depths of the low bush with a vigor that was electrifying to witness.  He never saw it again. 

And that’s all he remembers about the day when a snake hunter was born.

Much more on the subject to follow.